"My stories are too fast! What should I do?!"

[XT-421]

This does not come from me, but a fan of mine.
Here is his story:
www.fanfiction.net/s/7279767/1/Out_of_The_Forest

I told him what Twilitbeing told me: "It's like it's on hyperdrive". Events are happening too fast, and everything is bluring together.

What tips can we give to help this guy?

I recall, to fix the early stages of Sero et Umbra, (where everything was on overdrive,) Dialogue was ESSENTIAL, the same with Seed of Love 4, in the early stages as well.

So, it is a given assumption that dialogue can help slow down the chain of events, making them real-time.

What further can we tell him?

~Joe

[Twilitbeing]

You can tell him that pretty much anything that makes the scene take longer to read will also slow the pace.

Dialogue is good for this purpose, but some situations work better with less of it. Transcribe a character's thoughts if they're significant; describe the surroundings if it adds something to the scene. If you're out of actions (usually the cause of rushed scenes), look for meaningful details. If you can't find any, try to write something that will hold the reader's interest. If that doesn't work out, just move ahead to the next step; nothing is less interesting to read than pure padding.

When you do have to pass time quickly, try to "skip forward" rather than rushing the story along. Figure out what's going to happen during the intervening time, and make sure it starts happening by the end of the scene, and is adequately described. If you have multiple threads going, this is a good time to switch between them; chapter boundaries are also effective dividers, though a simple "some time later" may suffice. Do it right, and readers will subconsciously fill the time gap with the same continued actions. (It sounds strange, but TV and movies use this trick all the time.)

TL;DR: Make time-consuming scenes longer if you can, but only as long as you can keep them interesting. Skip ahead rather than rushing or padding. Only write when it adds something worthwhile.

[XT-421]

Great, now if we only could get Tsunami in here we'd have a literary dynamo to help this kid.

I agree with all of the above.

I mean, based on your very general advice, (Which is good, but I was looking for a very isolated help group,) I assume you did not read this fellow's story.

He has one PoV it seems, (if there are others, he changes it too rapidly to notice,) and his chapters are shorter than my nicer posts. (Where I take a few hours typing.) He does, OCCASIONALLY tell the tale of another character, this is a logical move.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

I mean, I'd suggest more detail, but, I've noted that, when I/We suggest MORE DETAIL to people, they just add in more adjectives and more sentences describing something, and it becomes LESS interesting. (I, frankly, think that my writing is at its most interesting when I am breif and simple with descriptions.)

I guess, this is kinda what I intepret from his writing at the moment.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It is a line, dashed, too.

The line represents your story, and following it is a reader, running across it. They are running right now, that is why there are gaps in the line.

Readers don't like running.

Readers like adventure!

So give them an adventure.

/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\

By "fleshing out" the story, you make the readers read more. To do that, you have to (I'm going to say it) get more in depth with the story, describe, as Twilit said, thoughts of characters, musings, HOW DO THEY FEEL throughout the story, not just positive emotions, but fear, doubt, regret.

You have a nice line, (the dashed one) it just needs to have more in it for the readers.

~Joe

[gnl567]

Hey guys, thanks for the advice and help. The chapters are short and fast, and I pretty much noticed from the beginning that the shortness bothered me. So, any help is appreciated!

[Twilitbeing]

You're right in that I hadn't read any of the story at the time of that post, BUT I've now read the first chapter. I'm about to start on the rest.

GNL, should I give my feedback here or leave a review on FFNet? (Also, welcome to the Shrine.)

[gnl567]

Either is fine. Thanks for the welcome. As long as it's help, doesn't matter.

[§Tsunami§]

I'll place mine via reviewing post as well.

Edit: I'll post it here instead.

Sentence playing is one advise I'd add. Add adjectives, adverbs, insert additional descriptive setnences that could fit in-between, to tell of perhaps vague events, or even brief, short movements.

That /might/ be confusing, and so..metaphor:

Think of a game. A game is constnatly rendering, at a certain frame rate. Your story is rendering, but your streaming through frames,and what is being seen in between these frames is moving too fast. Fill in every void. In other words, have a horribly slow rendering of your game so that one sees everything, to have a fanstiically detailed story.

An odd metaphor, but I hope its effective.

[XT-421]

Very much so for me! Genius Tsunami! That was well put.

~Joe

[§Tsunami§]

Thanks. I'll see if I can't put a break down in his story. I miss writing on my own, just can't pick up the pen.