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Post by §Tsunami§ on Jul 18, 2007 0:05:08 GMT
What a noble heart you have, continuing her story. I wish the same could be done for dead author's uncompleted stories, like some of J.R.R. Tolkiens.
And isn't Bayleaf... nevermind. Try to end each part with a cliffhanger, something humurous, or meaningful. It makes it more suspensful and the reader to want to keep reading.
+1 Karma for both of you! And 4 pages now too! How long will this story last? The ending must be around the corner soon...
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Post by galaxina on Aug 7, 2007 18:05:30 GMT
I just came back and want to tell you something. I wrote down what destrachan would write for me and he did it well, but it was my idea, not his, so the credit for part 15 should go mostly to me. Anyways, since GUN helped a lot with the Black arms, I thought they would also help in taking on the metarex again. Also Dandelion and Weed will eventually become part of GUN just like Shadow did. I also will involve Eggman creating a new command ship called the Eggfort 3, a new version of the ships he used in Sonic X, the Eggfort and Eggfort 2. Dokkun, Bokkun's brother will also still appear. Dokkun is just like Bokkun, but he is more serious, mature, and likes explosives such as misslies and mines instead of just normal bombs and exploding TVs. In fact, Dokkun looks just like Bokkun, except for that he is white and taller than him.
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Post by §Tsunami§ on Aug 8, 2007 2:27:04 GMT
Um.... that's a lot of information.
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Post by galaxina on Aug 31, 2007 2:46:44 GMT
I thought of new idea. Now Gemerl will join the metarex and be upgraded with their technology. He will have grown past simple programming and no longer be Cream's butler because he got smart like the robots in Terminator. He will also tell the Metarex about the ARK and take them to attack it so they can get the eclipse cannon for themselves. That way, they can waste the planets after they steal their planet eggs. Also Crysanthemum will have a mech built for her that is very powerful since she is now with the metarex. It will be so strong that they have to beat it with Tails's new creation, the X-tornado T-type, a new X-tornado that has a pair of arms when in walking mode. Not only that, but the Ultimate Seedrians will upgrade themselves in order to beat Damathasar, but Damathasar will have done the same.
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Post by CSD on Aug 31, 2007 5:47:32 GMT
You know, maybe you should just write the story instead of giving away everything beforehand. Just a suggestion.
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Post by galaxina on Sept 14, 2007 21:16:51 GMT
After a long wait, Here is Part 16. This one introduces (sort of) Gemerl, who has joined the Metarex and also has been upgraded with some of thier technology. Well here it is.
Part 16
The soldiers, Weed and Dandelion all stepped out of the building later with three surviving people. They then waited for a transport to get them to the safe zone where they would be out of harm's way.
Suddenly Weed had an idea "instead of waiting out in the open for a transport, we should call a friend of ours," he remarked. He then pulled out a signal beacon from his pocket and flashed iti in the air. In a matter of minutes, Asher had landed her giant Eggman mech right there to pick them up.
The one soldier exclaimed "hey, that's the Eggman robot that blew up our one outpost!"
As Asher loaded everyone inside of the gargantuan machine, she told him "It's okay, I hijacked it for myself, it now belongs to me and will not cause any more harm," and then she winked at Weed showing him that she said that to keep the GUN soldiers from looking at him in a wrong way.
The soldiers then told the three Seedrians, "since you all are unknown alien lifeforms, we will have to handcuff and blindfold you so that you don't know the location of our headquarters. The three all accepted this and willingly had themselves handcuffed and blindfolded and put in a corner while the lieutenant flew the mech back to GUN fortress.
Eventually they got there where he was welcomed by Topaz, a female GUN trooper who had already been promoted to General position at this time. Topaz then untied the three Seedrians and escorted them all to their commander. The commander and his bodyguard greeted them and they all sat down.
"So you are the alien creatures that know about this Metarex threat," The commander asked, "well nice to meet you all, what is your names?" They all told who they were and expalined that they were an endangered plant like species called Seedrians whose home planet was destroyed by the Metarex a long time ago. The commandered then questioned "So you are, well lets get to why you are here and tell me what you know about these metarex hmm?"
Dandelion began, "The metarex are an army of robots that have been a menace to the galaxies for decades, they are controlled by six lords who are actually other seedrians in powerful armor. The lords are Gray rose, Pale Bayleaf, Red Pine, Yellow zelkova, Black Narcissus, and thier main ruler, Dark Oak. They have traveled the galaxies looking for planet eggs, jewels of power that give a planet its ability to support life, without it, conditions on the planet become unstable and eventually kill off all life on that planet. They have stolen many planet eggs leaving whole worlds to die in thier wake, which we cannot allow to happen. One year ago, we heard that the metarex were finished for good by some team of planetary explorers, but by what is happening now, were afraid that they were wrong. We are here to finally eradicate the Metarex forever and restore order."
The Commander then said, "indeed that is interesting, but are you sure this is all correct?"
Just then GUN's highest ranked warrior who was also the Ultimate lifeform, Shadow the Hedgehog, stepped into the room. "They speak the truth" he said, "it is all true, for I was there when it happened, I fought these horrors known as the Metarex and presumably destroyed them for good. When I returned, I led that I had been held prisoner by Eggman and had just recently escaped since this I did not want to tell anyone, for I did not think you would believe me and this struggle was a most horrible one, but they somehow have come back and this nightmare once again haunts me."
The commander yelled "so you are right, then these Metarex are worse than we feared. I will alert every soldier about this and tell them what is going on. As for you three, we may need your assistance more than we think, so you are going to help us, our troopers are returninig to Westopolis to rescue any survivors there, and you are going to help us!"
Far away, on a metarex space station orbiting Earth, Gray rose was looking out at a human space colony that was high uip in there. She then called out "Gemerl, I need you for a moment." Gemerl stepped out to the female Metarex Lord. Gemerl was once an ancient robot named Emerl who could copy powers and was Sonic's friend, until one day he was blown up and then rebuilt by Eggman in a more powerful form. After that, Tails had reprogrammed him to be a butler to Cream and it remained that way for a while until very recently. It happened only a few weeks before the metarex came back to Earth; he had grown past the simple programming that Tails had used on him; in other words, he got smart. Once then, he ran away from Cream and looked for something that could help him become powerful again, which was when he found the Metarex. He told them who he was and then pleged his loyalty to them to be part of thier ever so feared army, and in return the Metarex upgraded him with thier own advanced technology, making him more stronger than ever. He looked like he did as the older gemerl, except for that he now had longer head spikes, five eyes instead of just three, a more armored chest, large wings for flying that he kelp folded up when not in use, and he wielded a spear and a shield.
Gray rose then said to Gemerl "I have something to ask you, what is that odd looking, gigantic thing orbiting this planet up there?"
Gemerl looked up at it and paused as soon as his vision glanced at it. He knew what it was, for long ago, when he was stilll Emerl, he had been aboard it. He then said in his deep, digital voice, "So it still exists to this day, I never would have thought to once again witness the gigantic space colony ARK. It is a great wonder that these humans have built, for long ago, I was there. You may be intrigued by this colony, I have much to tell you and the others of the Metarex about this colony's great secrets."
End of Part 16
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Post by galaxina on Oct 6, 2007 20:21:17 GMT
This is part 17. It involves the Marmolinians, the Chao-like aliens that belive in prophecies for things such as love and were quite superstitious if you ask me. They actaully appeared in and episode of Sonic X (forget the name of the Episode) where when Tails and Cosmo fell into thier "lake of love" together, the Marmolinians thought that made thier relationship ever-lasting. This part has them fighting back against the Metarex and brings out a new important addtion to the storyline.
Part 17
Planet Marmolin, home to the Marmolinians, an alien race that consisted of aliens that looked like very tall Chao and believed in many prophetic beliefs. It used to be a peaceful place, but now, things were far worseon thier planet.
Now the Metarex had taken control of most of it. They kept the Marmolinians from setting foot on anywhere except thier villages. What they focused on the most however, was thier lake of love. This huge body of water not only supplied most of the water to the nearby villages, but thier is a saying that if two people who are in love jump in together, thier relationship will never end. The metarex had now built a huge dome-shaped facility around the lake, guarded by some very powerful metarex, metarex marksman keeping watch with thier sniper rifles atop large posts, guntowers littering the surroundings, and huge gates and walls that only let the metarex in. All the Marmolinians had never dared to go even close to this dome, for the defenses made it seem suicide to even try, although they now had very little water since the lake was in there. Ten days after the dome was built, however, two brave Marmolinian war commanders, Befaw and Mymull, along with a medium-sized strike force, were going to free thier important lake.
They began this mission on Marmolinian buster bikes to quickly get in and open the front gate so that the rest of the strike force could proceed. Armed with Marmolinian laser bows, crossbow like weapons that could be charged up, and grenades, they went in. While they rode these bikes in, some Metarex on thier swift bikes, some on skimmer bikes, as well as the metarex marksmen, tried to keep them from getting inside, but they still managed to get to an entrance for the foot soldiers, where they blew open the door and went in. After dealing with the dozens of guards inside, they got to one of the control computers, where they opened the gate for the Marmolinian troopers and then got out.
Once the gate was open, the two commanders got on Marmolinian hover tanks and lead the strike force which consisted of many trained Marmolinian soldiers riding vehicles such as thier armored quadraped walkers, battle biped walkers, and some other hover tanks. They went through countless numbers of Metarex vehicles and gigantic Metarex to get to the center where the lake was. Once they got to the lake, they were horrified by what they saw.
Inside, they saw they Metarex were ruining the lake of love entirely. All the water had been drained out and kept in a huge storage tank. Where the lake was dry, many Metarex digging and excavation machines were hard at work, trying to unearth something. What it was and why, they did not know, but didn't care to know at the time, for they were going to stop it all. They quickly finished off the powerful Metarex guarding the excavation site and then did the same to the tunneling machines.
After they stopped the Metarex there, it seemed to make the Metarex's presence thier a total failiure, but once they looked down in the hole they had dug out, thet saw that the Metarex had already found what they had been looking for, and that they had succeded in whatever they were working on. Mymull also noticed that despite the heavy defenses, the whole attack there was a bit too easy, as if it were an ambush. She was proven right, when a gargantuan sized Metarex called a Disasteroid appeared before them. They now had quite the problem now, for Disasteroids were metarex so powerful, one could be enough to create a disaster area, hence the name. Despite this huge threat, they stodd and fought it, for if they retreated, the Disasteroid would go forward and level the nearby villages in a matter of hours.
As the Marmolinian army fought the huge Metarex, the other Metarex returned to thier master with what they had discovered under the lake of love. Pale bayleaf sat at the controls of one of the flagships, along with his new personal metarex, Torku. Torku was a huge spiderlike metarex with one eye that was at the beck and call of its master and Bayleaf referred to as his "pet." While he sat, he also thought about his recent encounter with his long-lost brother, Weed. It was a miracle that he was alive, and he remebered what he had told him, but didn't take much thought into it, for he was now a Metarex lord, and his days of being like most other Seedrians were over. He then sent a message to Dark Oak saying "We have found what we have been looking for on Planet Marmolin, the mission is a success."
Dark Oak appeared on the screen and congradulated him with "excellent, you have done well, everything is going as planned, this time, we will not fail like we did before."
End of Part 17
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Post by CSD on Oct 6, 2007 21:13:24 GMT
I only saw one spelling error. Other than that, your grammar and story writing has improved vastly. Nice job.
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Post by galaxina on Oct 6, 2007 22:29:37 GMT
Oh and I wanted to explain something in it a little more. I know that Gemerl was reprogrammed to be Cream's maid after Sonic Advance 3, but here is what happened that now he works for the Metarex and is at quite a high rank. Basically he somehow eveloved over time and soon could think for himself instead of relying on programming and developed his own A.I. or Artificial Intelligence. It is sort of like what happened to the robots in the Terminator and I-robot movies. The same happened to Metalsonic and that is why he is with them as well. He is now going to help the Metarex by giving them information about the ARK since he was once aboard it. I also will tell you, that in some upcoming parts, Molly's people are going to make an important appearance and will play a key role in defeating the Metarex once again, as well as Silver the Hedgehog. Also the thing that the Metarex discovered underneath the "lake of love" will play a key part in the upcoming parts and what it is will be revealed later. Im not telling you the exact things, but am hinting on them, so stay tuned for more.
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Post by §Tsunami§ on Oct 9, 2007 7:13:40 GMT
I agree with CSD, you have grown up. But you might want to keep some of the extra info to yourself, we don't have to know every detail about every event.
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Post by galaxina on Oct 11, 2007 0:05:58 GMT
Now here is Part 18. It returns to what Weed and Dandelion are doing with GUN. It also marks the tragic death of one of Chris Thorndyk's family Members. Also I must add that this story takes place when Chris was an adult as in the show, so he has moved out and will not be there to help this part of his family.
Part 18
Dandelion and Weed armed themselves with new state-of-the-art GUN weaponry. As they did so, they saw the Commander arming himself as well. He put on some light yet protective body armor, a specialized helmet, and acquired some heavy GUN weapons such as a rocket launcher, SMG, sniper rifle, a Smith and Wesson .500 magnum in his one pocket, many grenades such as new GUN forcefield grenades, flash grenades, frag grenades, and new GUN radar-stopper grenades. He used to simply give out orders to the soldiers, but now, he usually fought himself with some of the best armments, for he was willing to take part in battles for his country. Topaz also came armed with not as strong but pretty advanced weaponry such as a grenade launcher, railgun, Desert Eagle magnum, pocket knife, an MP5 rifle and an M16 equipped with a grenade launcher. Dandelion simply took along a P90 and a new anti-metarex GUN rifle while Weed just relied on his swords and swordplay skills. They all boarded a GUN airship headed for Westopolis.
Once aboard, they got a message from the resistance at Westopolis that said this <[emergency message <[Metarex forces increasing <[situation critical <[requesting immediate backup and garrison forces Topaz replied to the soldiers who sent it with <[reqest granted <[backup and garrison forces approching Westopolis; distance 600 miles
As they got ready, they saw what went on aboard a GUN airship in these situations. The airships were so huge, that they housed factories for many GUN robots and vehicles thaty they saw being manufactured and then loaded into the cargo bays. GUN troopers all suited up and picked up thier weaponry for battle. Groups of troopers all got aboard some GUN dropships located in the hangars inside of the airship and the airships were being loaded up with extra supplies and various robots. Weed and Dandelion hopped aboard a dropship along with Topaz and proceeded to help the troops in Westopolis. While they were flying inside of it, they saw out the window Asher piloting her huge mech flying alongside it and just as ready to fight the Metarex as well.
Farther away from all that was happening there, Mrs Thorndyk sat at her dresses combing her hair. It had been a while since her son, Chris left home, Chuck, Ella and Mr. Tanaka no longer visited as often, and her husband, Sam "Speed" Thorndyk had always been away for his jobs at a car factory and at racecar racing. With all of these, she felt very lonely and didn't get to see other people as much. She heard about the attacks on Westopolis and felt worried about the people there, but the Metarex had not yet reached Station Square where she lived and she thought she was safe for now. She was getting dressed up for a party she was invited to and hopefully she would get to lower her loneliness there. Little did she realized that this day was her last day alive.
Farther away from Mrs. Thorndyk's house, about 50 yards, an assasin waited. The assilant kept hold of a Metarex saber shot laser equipped with a sniper scope. The sniper knew that Dark Oak, whom she worked for, wanted all of the Thorndyk family dead, for thier son, Chris helped in ruining thier plans before and they were deemed a threat by the Metarex lords and had to be terminated. The sniper kept her finger on the trigger positioning the crosshairs on a window and frequently moving to other windows and the dooorways. As soon as Mrs. Thorndyk appeared in front of one of them, chances are it would be curtains for her. She stood there in seclusion for quite a while waiting for the moment to strike. When right then she noticed something, a phone was seen through the window. She picked up her own phone and having looked up her address in a phonebook recently she knew her number as well.
Mrs. Thorndyk's phone began to ring. She then went to go get it, oblivious of her imminent doom. As soon as she picked it up and said Hello, a superfast blot of laser fire crashed through the window, hitting her directly in the head and silencing poor mrs. Thorndyk. The assilant got up and proceeded to return to her masters, the mission was a success, and one of Chris's loved family members was done for.
End of Part 18
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Post by galaxina on Oct 13, 2007 22:34:04 GMT
Now, Part 19 is here. This begins with the revealing of what the Metarex found underneath the lake of love. The object revealed will become important afterwards. It also shows how some other Metarex members have strengthened now. Also, I have to mention something now about part 18. The reason that I spelled Chris's last name wrong is that when I wrote the d, y, k, and e of his name, the y and k got censored out by this site, so I had to misspell it in order to make it more readable.
Part 19
After Pale Bayleaf had returned from the mission to retrieve the great item that had been hidden at the bottom of the lake of love for perhaps centuries, Dark Oak called a council meeting for the Metarex. At the meeting, which was inside of the Metarex Space Station obiting earth, all the Metarex lords, the metarex's new and powerful minions that included Chrysanthemum, Metalsonic, Gemerl, Damathasar, and a few types of normal metarex, huddled inside of the council chamber and went to discuss what Dark Oak had to say. A few of the beings there had looked much more powerful in appearance. Chrysanthemum had finally been able to demonstrate recently her abilities that made her the most powerful of Cosmo's sisters. She proved that she naturally could jump very high, about 40 feet in the air, had expert marksman, combat, and stealth skills, and her Seedrian weapon, like Cosmo and her sisters had, was the ivy Whip, a long vine of Ivy that she used as a whip, but she could also use as a lasso, tripwire, foot snare, or grappling rope. Metalsonic was back in his form as Neo Metalsonic that he had first been able to use when he was causing the events that led to him becoming Metal Overlord before. His reason for this is that he re-energized the nanites that made up his body so that he could once again become and hold this form by use of an artificial Chaos Emerald. Damathasar hadn't changed in appearance much, for the only noticeable thing was that the Seedrian jewel on her chest was now multi-sided, like a diamond, not smooth like normal, since this new one gave her more power than before. However, despite the little changes to her body, she still was more stronger than before, due to upgrades in her interior mechanical parts, constant exposure to radioactive materials and other mutagens, and more power given to her from more power absorbed from one of the Planet Eggs that the Metarex still had. In fact, others could feel the powerful aura that flowed through her body just by standing next to her. Now in addation to her old powers, when chopped apart, she could magnetically reassemble herself, could now generate an energy sword from her hands, fire powerful beams frm the jewel on her chest, could generate a shield around her, and her speed had been reduced for higher physical strength, which was more important to the Metarex at the time.
Dark Oak stepped out im his majestic glory, accompanied by Gray rose and Black Narcissus. He said, "attention all thoe who are unified with the Metarex, I now have an important message, which is why we are here right now. We all know that our first attempt to start the forestization process, complete operation duplicate, and eradicate the non-plants was an abysimaql failiure. Also due to my revivial, I have been slightly weakened, and we only have one chaos emerald now. Not only that, but before, to complete the forestization, we had to use the event that happened at the galaxy's center every 100 years, which is long over and we will have to wait another 99 years to try again. However, due to recent excavations on planet Marmolin, we now have a new method to achieve this goal!"
Dark Oak then held up an odd looking Planet Egg. It was shaped like a octogonal jewel, like most Planet Eggs, but this one had a gray colored galaxy design in the middle, the rest was black, and a shadowy aura ws emminating from it. Dark Oak then explained to them all "I bring you, the Apocalypse Egg! This planet egg, which is not linked to any planet, was created by the Black arms long ago to give them greater power than anything else, but they couldn't control it and hid it away for centuries. Now that we discovered it on Planet Marmolin, we now can harness it's ultimate power. This shall be our replacement for the hundred year event, and shall help our goal of the extinction of the non-plants. With this, we shall not fail, and I will become all powerful!" He then placed the Apocalypse Egg in a groove on his chest and asked Yellow Zelkova to attack him with all his might, just to demonstrate his control over it and his new power. Yellow Zelkova did attack him with a devastating blow from his sword, but when he did, his sword bounced off a grid shaped forcefield that became visible when he hit it.
Dark Oak continued with "as you see, the Apocalypse Egg protects me from all harm, and therefore gives me more might than ever before. Even the seven Chaos Emeralds are no match for the Apocalypse Egg's greatness. With this, Sonic and his team shall be no match for us this time."
Dark Oak next told them "as for other events, things have been going quite well for us. Chrysanthemum has succesfully eliminated the mother of that troublesome human, Chris Thorndyk, Damathasar has grown even more powerful, and our armies are even now exterminating the horrid beings of this planet Earth. However, this Planet's military has constructed a large facility around the site of the Planet Egg of Earth to protect it, but we now have no need for Earth's Planet Egg, for we have more important matters on our hands."
Dark Oak concluded with "that is all, my worthy warroirs, you may now depart and reutrn to your duties." They all then went out to get back to whatever they were doing for the Metarex as Dark Oak still stood in that area, admiring the almighty Apocalypse Egg that was now all his.
End of Part 19
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Post by galaxina on Nov 9, 2007 23:37:23 GMT
This is Part 20 (20 parts, WOW ;D ) It now involves the Metarex abandoning thier current Space Station orbiting earth and take the ARK for themselves. Also, crysanthemum (Cosmo's brown and purple, obese sister) gets a little regretful about joining the Metarex here and something new about her is introduced. Not only that, but Memphiles gets revived my the Metarex technology and is now one of them as well. I also must mention that since it is getting a little long, I will be dividing it. This Seedrians, the Encounter is really only Volume 1, Volume 2 will come after the final part of this volume. Well, read and enjoy. Part 20 Gemerl had just called another council meeting merely minutes after Dark Oak had given out his own. Everyone who was an important part of the Metarex came. Along coming was another newcomer to the Metarex, Memphiles. Once a dark, demonic creature, Memphiles was killed by Sonic and Shadow long ago, but thanks to thier technology, The Metarex managed to keep his brain alive and then hook it up to a new bionic body. He now resembled a levitating, metallic mask with a gargoyle looking, nonfunctional, face. He no longer had his older powers with the exception of his purple energy ball attack, but now had highly powered, elemental abilities such as control over fire, water, rock, earth, ice, wind, thunder, sound, and even gravity. The gravity one he used to get around by hovering in the air, since he was only a mask like cyborg and had no other appendages at all. Gemerl appeared literally out of nowhere by teleporting and then took his stand on a podium to give out his plan. "Fellow Metarex, I now have devised a plan to help us with our plot. We are going to take over the human space colony known as the ARK. It is a massive space colony that I once had been aboard and is known for housing many secrets. Though I had only known of very few of them, I knew about the one that is the greatest of all, The eclipse cannon. This cannon, once having all seven Chaos Emeralds, has the power to pierce stars, or anihilate entire planets. Unfortunately, it is now infested with those troublesome humans and is guarded by many defensive units and forcefields, but I have a plan to take the ARK for ourselves and no longer have any need for this smaller space station." Once he was through with that speech, he proceeded to give out the plan, and they immediately began this plan, Operation ARK domination. The plan began with Metalsonic arriving on GUN's base, Prison Island. He then assasinated a GUN soldier and took his ID card and other identifications, then used his nanite powers to transform into an exact duplicate of the GUN soldier. Right after that, he boarded a new GUN starfighter called a VY-7 Silpheed, and flew back into outer space, and came right to the security check area of the ARK. Once there, he was asked by the troopers on the colony to land his starfighter on a prepared platform, so that some more would be able to check him. Due to his realistic disguise, stolen ID, and no trackers or weaponry inside of his Silpheed, he was allowed in without question, which was Metalsonic's chance to get inside. He then got inside the ARK, where he found a GUN operative at work checking the systems and status of the colony through one of the main computers. He proceeded to kill the unaware operative and went to the computer, where he got inside the mainframe ansd shut down all of the ARK's forcefields and defences. Once the ARK's defences had been decommissioned, the hundreds or Metarex waiting for the moment had rushed in and began to weed out the hapless GUN troopers inside. Gemerl quickly went inside to meet up with Metalsonic and find a way to the Eclipse Cannon, Yellow Zelkova and Damathasar wrecked all of the nonfunctional ARK forcefield generators and attack turrets, so that GUN couldn't reactivate them, Memphiles, Red Pine, and Gray rose murdered all of the troopers in the interior, and Crysanthemum and Pale Bayleaf went to pick off all of the outer attackers, while Dark Oak sat and watched them all create a pogrom of GUN troopers. Crysanthemum was piloting a large personal mech that the Metarex had built for her shortly after she joined, Karnage. Standing at 25 feet high, Karnage was a monstrous, fearsome sight to behold, having a bulky round body, lanky, but strong limbs, a triangular demonic looking head, round, green, glowing eyes, jaws that could swallow in one gulp someone about the size of Galaxina (who was roughly 5 feet tall) and chew them into mincemeat with its knife like teeth, a left arm armed with missile pods and a plasma cannon, a spiked right arm with an arm shield generator and beam blade, and rocket boosters on its feet, pelvis, and torso for flight. She had just blown another ARK forcefield generator into smitherines, she stopped and looked at all the people running forthier lives or fighting back, unaware that they were largely outnumbered by about 4 to 1. She uttered to herself, "Oh my, those people are hopeless, why do I have to do such a thing?" On the monitor screen of her communicator, Red Pine called her and said "what is troubling you, apprentice?" Crysanthemum answered "I just don't see why we have to kill all these people, it seems so wrong. Red Pine told her "Why Not?! These humans have resulted in the first demise of Dark Oak, these humans ruined Operation Duplicate, these humans also were the cause of nearly ending your mother's life, that is why!! If there is anyone you should have a vendetta with, it is them!" Crysanthemum replied with "Still, it will make us no better than they are, murderers." "You must, apprentice" Red Pine persuaded her with, "You are part of the Metarex now, and that is your duty!" Crysanthemum sighed and exclaimed "Alright, I will. These humans shall now know the wrath of the Metarex" With that, she single handedly weeded out an entire squadron of GUN troopers and robots, and proceeded to finish off the rest. Within the sunset on earth, the Metarex had succesfully eliminated every being minus them on the ARK and had captured the entire colony for themselves. Now that it was all thiers, they sent a fleet of thier armies to demolish the space station that they had been monitoring earth on before. Gemerl and Metalsonic got to the Eclipse Cannon operating system shortly after the GUN soldiers were all finished. Much to thier chagrin, however, they discovered that long before all this, since the cannon could be deadly in the wrong hands, GUN had removed most of the vital workings of the Eclipse cannon and hid them away. Without them, the cannon wouldn't function at all, even with the Chaos emeralds. Gemerl and the other Metarex were quite dissapointed about this, but Dark Oak still congradulated them all, since the massive ARK was under the Metarex's control now. Now, they would truly be a force to be reckoned with now that space colony ARK was all thier's. End of Part 20
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Post by Charmander on Nov 15, 2007 8:31:40 GMT
I'm not sure which is stranger, this story, or Olivia constantly glorifying love.
But you know what? The fact that you have 20 parts is awesome!
Did I say it was awesome!
Did I?
I can't remember. Who am I again?
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Post by galaxina on Nov 17, 2007 3:45:00 GMT
What is so wierd abot this story? It is so far becoming action packed and pretty darn cool. Stay tuned, for the story is soon going to become something so darn cool, you will love it even more. Also later on, Molly's people (who I found out are a reclaimer, Master Chief-ish more evolved species of humans called the Cascadians since they are from the Planet Cascade, and are like humans, but are usually about 8 feet tall, have tougher muscles and bone density and stuff) are going to make an improtant appearance and joing the heroes on thier quest to stop the Metarex once again, this time forever for sure. What they will be doing will not be revealed until later on, however.
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Post by galaxina on Dec 1, 2007 20:13:35 GMT
I am in the middle of yet another writer's block, but while my next idea is being thought up, here is some things to help brush up on what happened so far as well as little fun facts on it.
Cyber Rouge, the new name for the now cyborg rouge I truly got from the show bionic woman, which is sort of obvious since both were important women who died in an explosion but were revivied using cyborg technology as a stronger bionic being. Also I noticed she is also like the 6 million dollar man, whihc is why my friends sometimes nickname her six million dollar bat.
Memphiles is back as a cyborg as well, but he was revived by pacing his brain in a new mechanical body repalcement which looks like a levitating mask.
Dark Oak was originally weakened due to his revival, but his new Apocalypse Egg, an ancient artificial planet egg of enormous power created millenuims ago by the black arms has made him too strong for even Super Shadow, Sonic and Cosmo together to beat him again, how they will achieve victory wil be revealed later on.
Chris's mom is dead, Crysanthemum sniped her in the face.
Metalsonic, Gemerl, and Memphiles are now with the Metarex.
Yellow zelkova is the only Metarex lord who survived (he grabbed onto a ledge right before falling in the magma and the metarex found him and rebuilt his suit) and he thinks his lss was because of insufficient weaponry, so he now wields a metal claw and tomahawk instead of a sword.
Silver will appear later on.
the sixth metarex lord in this, Gray rose, is really Hertia revived by Oak. No one knows why she is now helping the Metarex, instead of against them now, although the heroes have theroized she has a connection to Oak, was persuaded to, forced to, or even brainwashed.
GUN has built an inpenetrable facility around earth's panet egg's site, so the metarex won't be stealing it anytime soon.
Sonic and his pals have two emeralds now, the Ultimate Seedrians (good ones) have one, Dandelion and Weed have one, and the Metarex have one plus many more if you count all of thier artificial ones that vanish aftyer use still being created.
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Post by galaxina on Dec 8, 2007 20:57:05 GMT
Oh, nd I want to tell you all this. I was going to have Chris and his family's friend, Ella appear. I know I don't like them, but they are important in the show and I just have to include them. i am in a writers block now and a new part won't be coming for a while, but just keep watching. Also the Ultimte Seedrians will be coming again, and they weren't only based on Shadow, but Android 17 (Raccar), Android 18 (Henassis), and Cell (Damathasar) from dBZ as well.
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Post by galaxina on Dec 14, 2007 13:55:34 GMT
Now is something else I must tell you all about this fanfic (isn't double posting only okay in your own fanfics?) Well I plan to hopefully get excellent ratings on this story and make it extra cool. Once that is done i will make it into a Flash movie series like on newgrounds or something and maybe a sprite comic series before that, but I wil need more animating experience for the movies first. Aftert the movies are great, then I will send them to the creators of Sonic X and ask them if they will make them into new episodes, which may be a little farfetched, but then again, Dragonball GT originally was a fan made series that was sent to the creators and made into official ones, and tails was originally a fan character before being put sent to the creators,so it could happen. also I noticed everyone else's fics focus too much on Talsmo love and romance, mine is different, it focuses on the action/adventure and metarex wars and conflict and suspense of the show, which is why iti s cooler.
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Post by galaxina on Dec 31, 2007 22:37:19 GMT
Finally, after a long month’s thinking, this is part 21. This one introduces the cascadians (the real name for the human-like race that Molly was part of) to the story. It also introduces a book that will be helpful to them later on.
Part 21
Longer than anyone has imagined, the Metarex have been a menace to the galaxy. Thought to be finished for good a year ago, they somehow returned and now are worse than ever before. But a brave team of Cascadian people from the planet Cascade have risen up to stop them. Though largely outnumbered, they fight to rid the universe of this threat. Now we will see how they are doing.
At an area of Planet Cascade, many Metarex were hard at work, until they recently uncovered something. Not only that, but where they were, they had the plans for a weapon that they were about to use. Right in the middle of their process there, a winged Cascadian, which was a type with wings for gliding and not flying, known as Etrius came before them with a bag. Etrius was known as an elite Cascadian trooper and matrial artist and he went to them with the bag in his hands
Etruis announced to them “Greetings fellow Metarex, I am one who wishes to join you all. Here in my hands is five artificial Chaos emeralds I made myself. I wish to go with you all and this gift will be useful since your artificial Chaos Emeralds are scarce now.”
Right then two Nagas came and examined them and found out they were only glass counterfeits. But by the time they had a chance to report that it was a trap, he pulled out his Battle Rifle and quickly made short work of them all. He went to a lone survivor and said “alright, hand over the weapon plans and the book you found here, or else I shoot.” The Metarex unwillingly gave the mysterious book to the Etrius and a disk containing the plans. He then got on his hover bike and left off. But by the time he was outside of the site, he was under attack. Black narcissus’s two newest creations, Foot soldiers type Bronze and Diamond who were his new models of Foot soldiers type gold and silver, as well as Damathasar and Red Pine were in pursuit. He went into a nearby forest and handed the items he got to his leaderwho was waiting for him, Commander Forga, then sped off. Right then he was shot off his bike and fell on the ground, only to rise to his pursuers.
Red Pine said to him “alright where is the plans and the book?” Etrius answered “I won’t tell you, even in you try to kill me I won’t say a word!”
Pine shrugged and told him “What big words to come from a lesser creature like you. Well lets just see how tough you really are. Diamond, Bronze, beat him till he talks!”
Just then the two metarex beat him and checked his pockets, then carried him off to somewhere.
Elsewhere, Commander Forga went to his flagship and talked with Molly. Molly was a Cascadian ruler who had died some time ago, but they managed to somehow upload her mind to a computer drive with their advanced technology and revive her as a digital manifestation of her memory that appeared before others as a green hologram of her former self that ran most of the ships systems and did other computerized things to assist them. “Forga told Molly, “We have the plans, now we need you to analyze them as well as this book which seemed to be important to them. Also any readins from Etrius’s trackers?” Molly in her digitalized body checked and repled with “No, I have no read of him at all. We will have to report Etrius M.I.A, feared dead. God, I just hope it is not the second option.”
End of part 21
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Post by §Tsunami§ on Jan 2, 2008 1:27:15 GMT
You seem to have much ambitions for this story... which is good.
However, there are a few problems with the story itself... not so good...
There is way too much telling, not enough showing. There is action and adventure, aye, but so little is not "told". To learn how to show and not tell isn't easy at first, but with practice, it will come naturally. For example, you don't describe the beating of Etrius, you just say he got beat up. It is better to glorify everything than nothing.
Dialogue has much improvent since your last few parts. Awesome.
Instead of adding more characters, you should focus on adding more to the characteristics of the characters you already have. Make them rounder, more realistic. You have plenty of characters, and the characters you are adding are actually taking away from the main points of the story.
Nevertheless, the story is no longer strange, but you can acually almost step in it. Keep it up, and may Mother Nature watch over you.
(And I know you have a lot of action, but a bit of romance (if done well) can always help add a thing here or here. And it does't have to be Taismo romance, be creative!)
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